April 18, 2010 - BEWARE OF WORDS

In spending time with my Mother, I have become aware of some very important things she taught me about language. What is interesting is that she, even in her state of dementia, is still teaching it. My mother has always been very careful with words. Yesterday we were at my folks house with Kyle and his family. My mother really couldn't see or understand what was going on, but she was still very positive in all her comments and very gentle in how she spoke with the children. Yes, I remember times when my mother got upset with us kids and had to discipline us, but I don't remember her ever using coarse or hurtful language.
God gave us the ability to talk and communicate. How we use that gift is vital to everything we are to gain in mortality. Words can uplift and teach, but words can destroy even faster. Even the withholding of words can lift or destroy. Our use of words can invite the Spirit or drive it away. The words we use will definitely influence how others view us and treat us and the kinds of friends we attract. Beware of words. Words shape us.
Teaching children to use words correctly begins with example. Use only the words you want them to use. They will mimic you. And be very open about pointing out words they are not to use. Be united and very firm about this. As a child, we didn’t use the word 'belly'. My mother thought it was an ugly word and ugly words were just not used in our house. I don’t remember ever actually being told that, but we knew it. And we knew what other words were considered ugly words - words like 'stupid' and 'ugly'. Today words like 'suck' and 'fart' would definitely fall into this category. What is interesting is that my Dad had been raised on a farm and I know from his family what words they used. They used some of those ugly words, and yet I never heard my dad use them. This was important to Mama and so Daddy stopped using them. He totally supported her and we learned from their example how to speak gently, without ugly or crude words. So, example is number one.
Words are so very important. Speaking gently is almost a lost art in todays world. Everywhere we hear crude strident angry mocking or sarcastic language. There is no place for that kind of language in an LDS home. It is never positive and contrary to the notions of the world, it is never harmless, humorous, or cool. Nothing should come out of your mouth without you at least considering its affect on your children and your spouse. In the next few blogs I will discuss other positive and negative aspects of lanugage starting with criticism and anger.