SEPTEMBER 11, 2011 - JUST LOVE THEM

One night, many years ago, I was awake in the middle of the night and I was crying. One of my children was going through a very hard time at school. I watched them deal with pain and hurt and I wanted so badly to help. I wanted to make the hurt go away. I wanted to make it all better. Isn't that what mom's are supposed to do? Yet I could not see any thing I could do. I felt helpless. I felt hopeless. And so I was crying because I could hardly stand the hurt that I was feeling for that child. The pain of parenting is real and it has nothing to do with having a baby. The kind of intense love you feel for your child can, and will, sometimes lead to the most intense pain you will ever know. The saying goes that a mother is only as happy as her most unhappy child has a lot of truth in it. If you haven't already experienced this, you will. As your children grow and leave the safety of your home, as they go out into the cold cruel world at such young ages, you feel it more and more because you are not in control of their lives from sun-up to sun-down. You may want to lash out at the world, the teacher, the other children, the situation, or whatever seems to be the cause of the pain. But this very rarely helps, and often will make things worse. You will sometimes want to gather those children around you and turn your back on the world - keep them away from the world and the hurt it seems to cause. But, that is not possible. Children must grow up. And so they, and you through them, will experience those hard growing up times. On that night many years ago I desperately sought the Lord's help and I sought His peace. I pleaded with Him to know what to do to help this child. I received an answer. It was very clear and very simple and not at all what I expected. The Lord simply said to LOVE THE CHILD. Make absolutely certain that they know they are loved at home, accepted at home, secure at home. Who they are, just as they are, is a good acceptable person to be. Make home a safe place - safe from hurt, safe from teasing, safe from fighting, safe from comparing, safe from belittling, safe from fear, safe. Yes, the child will still face hurt and pain in the world, but they will always have a safe pain-free place to come back to - a place where they are accepted and loved. It hurts me terribly now to know that many children in this painful hurt-filled world do not have a safe place to retreat to. Their homes are as full of pain as the world is. What a terrible thing to have no place to go. Make sure your children have that safe place - make sure your home is that kind of refuge from the world.