December 13, 2009 - CONSISTENCY

In church today I sat behind a young couple with several young children and observed some good parenting. The children were all under the age of 5. As the Sacrament song ended, one of the children was coloring, one was playing with the hymn book and the youngest, probably about 18 months, was playing with a toy. The father gently removed the coloring book and hymn book and put them away as he reminded the kids it was time for the Sacrament. The mother took the toy from the youngest and folded his hands. Of course his hands stayed folded about two seconds but it was a start. There was no playing, reading, coloring, etc. during the Sacrament. Afterwords, the kids went back to their activities or to other ones. No, it wasn't the perfect little family. During the meeting they delt with a tantrum, sibling squabbles and the little one falling off the bench. Pretty typical meeting for a young family. But again, at the end of the meeting when it was time for prayer, the kids were reminded to set the toys aside during the prayer and expected to do so. It may be unrealistic to expect children that age to sit still and do nothing an entire meeting, but they can be expected to sit still for one prayer or to stop playing for the length of the Sacrament. The good parenting here was the consistency. Every prayer the kids were to fold their arms. During the Sacrament there was no playing. If those parents do that every single week, week after week, those kids will learn what bahavior is expected of them during prayers and during the Sacrament. Now they can learn the behavior and slowly they will be able to learn the reason for the behavior. Consistency is a very powerful teacher for young children. What you do or have the children do over and over, never fail, always about the same, the kids will learn. But you must start young before bad behaviors are already in place - behaviors that are there becauase they were consistantly allowed. Be as consistent as you can be in things of eternal importance; things such as family and personal prayer, scripture study, church attendance, and FHE. Be consistent in having your children fold their arms during prayer, kneel, say blessings at mealtimes, etc. You can teach other good things through consistency too, such as brushing teeth, practicing the piano, putting their dishes in the sink, making their beds, etc. Consistency in little things teaches good habits or bad habits. At a young age the parents get to decide which they are teaching. I am very aware that I did not use this parenting technique to good advantage. I allowed my young children the "freedom" of a late bedtime partly out of laziness and partly out of stupidity. By the time I thought they were old enough that it mattered, they had bad habits which I could not easily combat. I could have made my life a lot simpler by starting some good habits early by being consistent.