February 1, 2010 - TRUST

I witnessed something last week and in thinking about it, I decided I needed to put it down as a parenting point. There was a dad with a small child - probably about 3, maybe 4, years old. I really have no idea what was happening, all I heard was the dad say, "If you do that your nose will fall off". The look of horror on the child's face would have been comical if it wasn't so obvious that it scared the poor kid to death. I'm sure you have all heard the phrase "like taking candy from a baby" to indicate something is very easy to do. Well, it is very easy to get a young child to believe something. Children are naturally trusting. They believe easily and quickly. And because of that, it is very easy for adults and older siblings to abuse that trust. You can make a young child believe any lie you want, or any truth. Look what Satan did to Eve? The Lord has indicated that there is a special place in Hell reserved for those who abuse the trust of little children. In parenting, you must be very careful to never abuse your child's trust, specially about things that are important to children - things such as security and love. Though children trust easily, they also learn quickly who they cannot trust. You don't want that to be you. It is harder than you think. I saw a mom drop her child off at nursery yesterday telling her that she would be "right back". The child was still standing by the door waiting for her mom to come "right back" when I left. Next time when her mom says she'll be back soon will the child believe her? If you can demonstrate to your child when he/she is young that you are trustworthy - that what you say is real - that you won't and don't dismiss his/her concerns easily and thoughtlessly - that your actions will follow your words, than when that child is older they will still know they can trust you. When he/she is 13 and questioning themselves they will know that you truly believe they are children of God. When he/she is 15 and defying authority, they will know they can trust that you really believe what you say is best for them. When they are 17 and questioning everything, they will still know they can trust you and your testimony. You don't lie to them. You can be trusted, always. And then, when you explain to a teenager that they must demonstrate actions that earn your trust, they will know what you mean. So, be very careful not to betray a child's trust now. Don't say you will do something you have no intention of doing, thinking that at their age they will forget about it. Maybe they will, but maybe they won't. Is it a chance you want to take? Be honest with children, but don't think that means you have to tell children everything. Use some wisdom too. And remember, even children understand an honest apology when it is appropriate.