April 16, 2009 - LOVE EACH OTHER & SHOW IT

In Jacob chapter 3, Jacob is admonishing the Nephites and calling them to repentence. He points out the importance God puts on family relationships by comparing the Lamanites to the Nephites in this regard. Verse 7: "Behold, their husbands love their wives, and their wives love their husbands..." I believe that the greatest thing you can give your children is the knowledge that their parents love each other. Make it obvious to them. Show it in how you act toward each other and what you say to each other. Never, NEVER, talk negatively about your spouse in the presence of your children. Never show disrespect toward, or talk down to your spouse, in the presence of your children. If you do, it is like giving them permission to do likewise.
Husbands, absolutely demand that your children show respect for their mother. (This means you, yourself, must respect her). The only time I remember my father spanking me was when I said a very disrespectful comment to my mother. I didn't even know he was behind me, but the second I said it, he whipped me around and took care of it on the spot. I learned that was not allowed, period.
Wives, absolutely demand that your children honor their father. (This means you must honor him yourself). Point out his good points all the time to them. Let them see and understand what a good man he is. If they complain about their dad, listen to the complaint, but don't allow the complaint to dissolve into disrespectful attacks or name calling. He is their father and they must honor him whether they agree with him or not.
You will be angry with your spouse sometimes. That is normal and I think it is okay, and maybe even good in some ways, for kids to know that you can be angry with each other and still love each other. Just be careful your anger doesn't show in unkind words or disrespect. If you work out a disagreement in private, they will learn that that is the way to work out disagreements. I think it is healtheir than having your children believe that disagreements never occur at all or that disagreements are supposed to be ignored.
April 16, 2009