January 21, 2009 - CONTENTION IN THE HOME

We have been admonished to have no contention in our homes - easier said than done. In Alma 4:9 we can gain some insight. We are told that there was great contention, and that contention was caused by: 1.envyings, 2.strife, 3.malice, 4.persecutions and 5.pride. How can we keep these causes of contention out of our homes? 1. don't compare your children. Kids do this enough without the parent adding to it. Love each child for who they are and let them know it. Don't give them a reason to be envious of each other over your acceptance. 2.don't allow kids to fight. Just don't allow it! Have methods already planned to intervene. Separate them, make them talk it out, put them together in a room until they work it out. 3.Malice usually shows up in homes when one child enjoys making another child cry or likes to get the other child into to trouble. This is very universal to children. They like the feeling of power they get from controlling the other person. Again, when it happens put a stop to it immediately. It is not allowed behavior. 4.I have seen parents stop a child from hitting another child, but then allow that child to inflict worse emotional damage by teasing or needling. When one child is allowed to tease, needle, bother, take toys, or treat another child badly, that is persecution. 5.When a child is led to believe they are best or better they start treating others poorly. A good way to combat this is to always expect all family members to support all other family members in their activities equally. Don't allow your kids to think their activity or talent is the most desirable or best.
It is much easier to work on rooting out the causes of contention then to think you can just get rid of contention. And remember; these things all apply to parent parent relationships, parent child relationship and child child relationships.
January 21, 2009