July 30, 2009 - SPOUSE COMES FIRST

The Lord has given us very specific instruction concerning our relationship with our spouse. To the men: "Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else" and to the women: "Thy desire shall be to thy husband". Your relationship with your spouse is of utmost importance; more importance than with your kids. You will be man and wife forever – you will be god and goddess together. Your children, while they will be sealed to you forever, will grow up, marry and have families of their own. They will be sealed to their spouse forever. They will not remain as your child in eternity. You make sure your child knows that your spouse (his mother or father) is of first concern to you. It does not hurt a child to find out early that they are not the center of the universe. On the contrary, the sooner they understand this the sooner they can go on to learning how to empathize and serve others. And the best and least threatening way to find this out is to learn that your parents love each other first and foremost and that together they will care for you and love you, but that you aren’t taking their place so don’t expect it. Too much today children are catered to at the expense of the marriage. Children are naturally self-centered enough. They don’t need to be kept as the center of all household activity and catered to constantly – even small children. Children can survive for periods of time without their parents’ constant vigilance. Let them know this early. Yes, they must know that they are important to you, but they also need to know that you love their mother/father first and sometimes that means their wants will not be placed first. It is not just good for them and for your marriage, it is their first step to independence. July 30, 2009