June 19, 2009 - PARENTS EQUAL IN AUTHORITY

In our world, and sometimes with our children, authority can become an issue. Don't let it be. Toward the end of paragraph 8 of The Family Proclamation it says: "In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners." Never undermine your spouse’s authority. Do not double guess their actions in front of the children, or take the side of a child over that of your spouse, EVEN if you think it is called for. Take your spouse aside and talk it out privately, not in front of the kids. Work it out and then present a united front to the children. In your families as far as your children are concerned, you both are absolutely equal in authority. Make sure the kids know that and make sure you believe it. However, most of the discipline will be done by the parent who is around the child the most. This is usually the mother. Because of that, fathers must be very careful not to undo in a moment what a mother has been trying all day to establish. If the mother has set certain boundaries during the day, those same boundaries should remain when Dad gets home. And Mothers must be very careful not to use the father as a threat in disciplining. Never say, “wait until your father gets home”. By so doing, father is set up as something to fear. Discipline is put off and to a young child, tomorrow never comes, so it is like getting away with it. By the time father gets home the incident is past and forgotten, at least in a young child’s mind, and they will not associate any discipline at that time with the action hours earlier. It may seem easier to let your spouse deal with an infraction, however, in the best interest of the child, whichever parent is present needs to deal with it. Also, remember to mention the incident and how you handled it to your spouse so that they can react in a similar way if they are the parent present next time. This makes discipline more consistent. June 19, 2009